"If Mama ain't happy..."

then Mama needs to work on her attitude.

can we please just get rid of this saying?

the whole premise of this phrase is that someone besides "mama" is responsible for her happiness.

if that's the case, then mama ain't never gonna be happy for longer than a minute.

i do believe that the tone of a household is set by moms.

we can make or break the mood for the day and have an incredibly strong influence on our children's and our husbands attitude and demeanor.

in that sense, yes, no one is happy if mama ain't happy.

the problem is the circumstances in which this phrase is thrown around.

i typically hear it in situations in which the wife/mama is trying to get something: a new purse, a compliment, her dinner preference, her way.

by throwing this (not so) cute saying out there, the woman often wins and gets her way/meal/jewelry/whatever.

then she is happy.

until she wants her way again.

then she isn't happy until she gets it and the whole family's happiness is riding on this flighty, selfish, emotion-driven mother.

and that sounds exhausting

and unstable

and zero fun. 

zero fun sir.

in the place of this phrase, can we just decide for ourselves to be happy and not rely on a situation to choose it for us.

i know, this is not an original thought or a breakthrough into understanding women (ha! if only), but i think it deserves some thought.

after all, women continue to say it-day in and day out-and expect it to work.
and it does
and we're all tired of trying to make "mama" happy.
or get happy, if we're that mama.

and i'm not even talking about finding true joy.
there's a profound difference in joy and happiness.
that's for another post and conversation.

all i'm saying here is to encourage you-or plead with you- to stop saying

and do something about it, mama.

(pointing finger right back at myself)

that's all. have a lovely evening.